To be honest, in many cases, as stepparents, we have ourselves under a microscope. At times, we can twist every minute comment, interaction, lack of interaction, etc. to be directed at us personally. We need to put away the microscope and start looking at ourselves at a macro level. I will give you an example that will hopefully convince you to try to do so.
My birthday was about a month ago. For some reason, I think a stepmom subconsciously makes days like this and Mother’s Day proving grounds for where they stand in the grand scheme of things. I know that I used to, but thankfully, have been able to move beyond it. This year, I didn’t hear from either of my stepsons. Almost a week after the fact, I got a text from one who was sorry he forgot. My other stepson must’ve tried to call a few days after my birthday, but didn’t leave a message, I just saw a missed call. Years ago, this would’ve bothered me tremendously. This year, it honestly didn’t. Don’t ask me why. Even when the Enemy would continually nudge me trying to get a response that was negative, I was at peace. I know my stepsons love me and that’s all that really matters.
My husband’s birthday is a couple of weeks after mine. Once again, the Enemy did his best to get me thinking how they will surely recognize their Dad’s birthday over mine so I could feel inadequate in comparison. Well, guess what? They forgot too!! I felt terrible for my husband and by 4:00 in the afternoon, I had to send them texts to remind them and thankfully they got in touch with him.
Here’s the point. Kids are kids and in most cases they aren’t planning to miss birthdays or other days that are important to you. Think back to when you were their age and I bet you remember being caught up in what you were doing too. Don’t lay a guilt trip on them – when they remember be happy and focus on the big picture.
