As we are preparing for the upcoming move, it is requiring us (I should say primarily me) to go through everything and decide whether to keep or throw. Trust me, I wouldn’t be doing this level of detail if it weren’t for the fact that this is a cross country move and we have to be smart about things.
With that said, I found a dozen boxes of my husband’s that haven’t been touched in the 8+ years we have lived here. One box was labeled “1990 Personal Records”. I thought that would be a good place to start because practically nothing could be of value or necessary after 20 years. As I was happily tossing the contents of the box, one folder toward the back caught my eye. It was labeled with the name of the town we live in. I thought it was odd so I opened it. Lo and behold it was a copy of sales agreement for a home about ½ mile from where we live (that I walk by practically every day!) with a copy of a cancelled check that was used as a deposit. I was stunned. I remember my husband telling me that he and his ex-wife looked in this area when it was first being developed but he never said much beyond that. Lesson #1 to be learned here: men don’t get it.
Things that didn’t quite add up regarding his ex’s behavior began to make sense. I always thought the timing of her withdrawal of talking to me directly was mainly due to the birth of my son, but now I realize it started the year before and the deal was sealed when I had the baby. I now lived in the house and had the family with “her” husband that she was supposed to have!! Over the years we have lived in this house, my husband said several times that she is probably jealous of our house and somehow believes that she should be living here. Well, no kidding!!!! Of course she feels that way! Any vengeful woman is going to believe that we probably deliberately moved here to rub salt in her wounds! Part of me really feels bad about the misperception she has probably felt. I am not saying it is right, but now I understand things like her driving past the house when she sees me working outside and waiting until I am gone before she picks up the boys. Lesson #2 to be learned: when a deal doesn’t go through most men forget about it. My husband didn’t withhold the information from me on purpose; he legitimately forgot so there is no way I can hold him responsible.
What I really want to say is that I am sorry to her if it caused her any pain. It truly wasn’t intentional. I am not saying her behavior towards us is acceptable, I am just saying that there was no malicious intent on our part to exacerbate the situation for her and I hope someday she realizes that.
